stupid is as stupid does

well the weather here really closed in yesterday with 100mph winds, zero vis and huge patches of ice. Only a total idiot would have gone out in those conditions, a sensible man would be sat indoors with a cup of tea and a good book (or in the bar with a pint watching us taking a beating from the french, 1 sodding point!)

Unfortunatly I am not a sensible man, I spent yesterday alternating between digging holes in the snow and riding around in conditions that could only be described as "shit". At one point the vis was so low that I couldn't see my board, thats less than 6 feet!

Still I survived (barely - I only managed to avoid a potentialy disastorous trip off piste by colliding with a piste marker.

My rather unique "robot" style came into it's own, enabling others in my group to recognize me from my silloute on the ridge line.

Today I have been shadowing a french instructor and learning the tricks of the trade.

I can now exclusivly reval some closely guarded secrets of french instructors.

a) lead the little nippers into a snow storm
b) hope the english guy you have to lug around with yopu has the sense to round up the nippers you left behind
c) when the nippers complain of being cold (usually less than an hour) head to a mountain cafe to "warm them up"
d) negotiate with the waitress a discount for your breakfast as you have brought in a large number of paying customers (less if step "b" has not gone to plan)
e) smoke a fag
f) have a hot choc
g) flirt with the waitress
h) flirt with female ESF instructor
i) have an expresso
j) repeat step "e"
k) all being well it is nearly lunchtime so head down for lunch.

soon, a Jedi I will be.......